Aakasa Desana-A Telugu Poem

Aakasa Desana....

Virahaandhakaaram, viyogabhaaram ne bharinchalekunna,
neevu leni ee nimusham nee oohalatho gadipesthunna.

Nuvvu mechindhi edho aa paate vintoo unna,
neeku nachevi evo aa panule chesthoo unna.

Reppa vaaluthunna aa okka kshanam ninnu marachina,
marala kalalo nee thalapule thalusthoo unna.

Nuvvu nenu kalisi undina gadiyala kanna,
nene neevai naake nenu thodugaa unna ee rojulalona,
mana premakunna balamentho thelusukuntunna.

Neevu leni ekantham chedhai digamingukolekunna,
nee smruthula maadhuryam jatha chesi jeerninchukuntunna.

Naa ee nitya vyadha nee dhariki cherendukanna,
egaraali naa ee bhaavalu pakshulai AAKASA DESAANA...........

A Happy Dad

“The Reports are positive” she said.

”True? Yahoo! Thanks for the news honey.” I exuberantly replied.

40 weeks from now I am going to be a Happy dad. What am I supposed to do now? Shall I dance, scream myself out or throw a party?

Next thing I remember doing is googling to find more about pregnancy. As I kept on reading my eyes became wet, I became restless. I wanted to throw the computer away from my vision. But then the thought of becoming a father clearly dominated all that feeling.

Then I turned back to her looked at her and said “you have to be so much careful darling and I am here to be your servant for coming 40 weeks.”

She replied, ”I love you honey but don’t love me so much, I cannot take it.”

But was it my love for her or my payback for her service (bearing my kid)? How mean of me to think that way? It was definitely my love for her.

She started off well, but as days passed by she started suffering. It all began with frequent nausea, then headaches and then difficulty in sleeping due to body changes. It was just like this for rest of trimester.

When the second trimester started which was indicated by the absence of some of that suffering, I found days brighter with her eased face in the mornings and evenings more pleasant with her peaceful company. But as if Gods were jealous of us, it became worse from then. More gain of weight, changes in her digestive system and constipation. On the happier side it was the quickening-first movement of fetus. But she never let the joy in her face of giving birth to our kid fade. And that’s one thing that made this entire situation bearable-her happiness.

And then it was the last trimester. God is so rude towards women and in turn towards their husbands. She had totally lost it now. She cannot sleep in nights. Hardly she falls asleep and all of a sudden wakes up by the movement of fetus. She cannot stand long; her backache never allows her to stand. Also leg cramps and heartburns add up to her misery. But it was killing me whenever she used to shout and call me to ask, “Please honey! Stop this sneeze or cough I beg you, I cannot bear this.” And in the nights when I stayed awake all night to make sure that she is sleeping in proper position, I could feel her need for more breathe.

Nothing was there in my hands to prevent all this other than to let her suffer all through this until she is done with fulfilling our dream. Did I really love her? If yes, why did I allow her to go through all this pain? I was selfish or I was dumb.

But the truth is I was cruel. I realized this during the delivery when she was screaming out of pain, holding my hand tightly, closing her eyes and letting droplets of tears flow down, lips tightened between her teeth and asking me “Honey! Are you with me? Are you with me? Please don’t leave me, I am afraid.”

What have I done to her? She was my most beautiful Rose flower and I let the fall affect her just in hope of a new life. Adding more pain to it was, my Rose, happily, let the fall drop her petals. She never complained.

Finally she handed over the baby into my hands still with that last tears in her eyes and said happily “Our Love”. But she was ignorant of the fact that it was just her Love towards me and then my selfishness of being “A Happy Dad”.

She would never want to hear it but I wished that she heard me saying “Sorry honey for all the pain”. It was shamefully said in a very low voice in the deepest parts of my soul.

"I should not have done this. Sorry honey for all the pain”

GROSS

Caution: This story might affect some of your routine. So sensitive people are requested to avoid this.


It is such a beautiful day in Chicago. I cannot believe that temperature is finally above 60s in here. Finally there are some birds flying high in sky trying to feel the warmth of the sun. I would say it is a bad day for Phoenix to try reaching sun. I could see the kids playing baseball, students playing basketball in the grounds and old people taking walk on the streets. Finally summer is here.

And I am here sitting in the first compartment of the train facing the rest of the compartments attached to it. An African American guy whom I did not even know was there suddenly got up from his seat to the entrance door. All I could see was he was bending towards the floor and some white watery fluid was oozing out of his mouth. It did not take me and rest of the people, long time to realize that he was puking. Thank God! He was standing beside the wooden partition at entrance and puking. I am not able to see him but hear him puke. But that sound itself is enough for me. I can feel all the sound coming from his vocal chord while bringing out all the stuff, and then the sound of puke hitting the floor. My brain is out of my control, I am hearing the sound and then visualizing it.

Finally he stopped puking and went to some other seat and is resting. I was relaxed. But then started the real struggle. The smell of the puke, it had already spread through out the compartment. There is nothing bad in that smell, it smelled more or less like the rice while it is boiling. I guess even it looks same with rice in white water. But the very thought that smell of rice boiling is from a puke is bringing my insides out. I thought of crossing over to other compartment but for that I need pass the spot where he puked. So I decided I will get off the train and so I did.

While I was waiting for my train I thought of one similar incident, which happened to me, when I was a kid. Even it was a pleasant Sunday as me and my kid brother were at home and of course he was sick. If someone is sick immediately mom thinks of using the soji to make the irritating upma. Then she was making him eat that when he was denying it (none at home likes upma). Finally it all started, he said "Mom, I am going to vomit". Mom took him to bathroom where he started puking. I went into balcony just to avoid that sounds. But I was not successful. I still could hear it. Then the upma in me arose and acting against the Newton discovered gravity it traveled all the way up my alimentary canal, through my throat, touching my tongue and finally oozing out of my mouth hitting the balcony floor.

I still could hear those sounds of my brother puking. Next intelligent thing I tried to do was to rush to another bathroom, which is just beside the one where my brother is busy. But those sounds made my insides more active and faster than my legs making me puke on the bedroom floor. This time it was not upma, as I have not eaten much of it. I guess it is the good day biscuits I had early in the morning. I could see the cashew pieces, which I did not chew properly while eating, in my puke. I soon escaped from that spot to dad's office room, which is the farthest from that spot. On my way itself, "by then" hyperactive digestive system of mine acted once more bringing out all the chapathi and Aloo kurma I had last night. I could not see aloos but pieces of chapathi were all over the place with some mustard seeds.

After I was done with getting rid of chapathi I rushed to dad's room. As a matter of fact I thought I was empty by then. But when I for the last time heard my brother puke, my thought proved to be wrong. This time the 3 cups of coffee I had from morning came out. I could easily make out with the brown color of the puke and also its taste and smell while I was vomiting.

By then my brother was done and I had decorated house with my puke all over. Thinking of all these I smiled and thought that today it was a narrow escape. My next train arrived and got into that again enjoying the beautiful Chicago on a summer day.

Made for each other, ONLY for each other

“Congratulate me Dad. I have become a Dad now. Your KODALU gave birth to a baby boy.”
“Congrats raa” spoke the voice on the other end of the call.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
“now you will get to know the pain that I experienced or more than that” is what I heard of course not from the phone but from the alter ego of my Dad inside myself.
“what? I never gave any pain to my parents. I was their obedient son. Of course never topped the class , Couldn’t get into IIT as they wished, smoked when I was sure they wouldn’t know, boozed when I was not in my home town and after all marriage is my personal problem so selected my own partner but informed them because I am their obedient son.”

“Even my son would be just like me, so obedient towards his parents”

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

“thanks dad, We would have been so happy if u people were here”
“Our wishes are always with u raa, take care of my Kodalu”


. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

years passed by. My son grew up to be as obedient as I wished. Never spoke a word without me prompting it, never took a step without giving that “DAD! CAN I?” look at me. Even after so many years after that day when I wished my newly born kid would be just as obedient as me. It was almost before 4 years and yes I am successful in making my dream of obedient son come true. Of course every now and then when my love my sweetheart tries to make him eat he just shouts, throws food all over the place, makes me so pissed off. But he is still so obedient that one angry look at him he just finishes his food but slowly. Poor thing my wife has to wait till he finishes but can’t complain she takes immense pleasure in that. Also when we enter a candy store or grocery store, had to keep a good watch over him not to pick anything and ask me at the counter to pay for it.

But still he is my sweet little obedient son. I love playing with him, I love his hug, which I get everyday, and I love his kisses. But in the night when he wakes up crying and keeps my wife awake all the night. . . . . . .ahh! forget it . After all he is my own obedient son.

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

Again years passed by, he is 15 yrs old now. Always sitting in front of TV, never caring for my wife’s words. But as soon as I come home he is still my obedient son, who on my saying(repeatedly of course) starts his homework. On weekends never stays home, spends some quality time with his friends than with his dad of course again with my permission only. He is 15 yrs old now. Still I don’t know his hobbies, favorites, likes dislikes etc. No doubt is my obedient son, but Am I asking for too much when I want to know about my son. I know everything about my wife whom I have met only after her first 20(odd) years. But my son who is with me right from his birth-I don’t know much about him.

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .
“Dad I got selected for the job.”
“congrats son”
“Dad I need to talk to you about something.”
“what?”
“I have chosen my life partner and I want to marry her and move out from this house once I get the job and get settled and I want your permission for my marriage without which I wouldn’t marry(did he really mean it?)”
“it’s ok raa(feeling proud of my obedient son). As you wish.”

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

“Congratulate me Dad. I have become a Dad now. Your KODALU gave birth to a baby boy.”
“Congrats raa”, I said and then after hanging up the call went to my wife who was sleeping on the bed. Lied down next to her and said “ Your son became Dad today, he just called.”
She turned towards me with a mixed feeling of surprise and happiness and asked “when will we go to see our grand son?”

It was quite unintentional but couldn’t stop these words flow out of my mouth “It was YOUR parents first, YOUR son then and now YOUR grand son who are sharing your life. But as a life partner what part of life is dedicated for me? I married you not just to live my life with you but to live our life together. One fine day YOUR son enters our life takes away my time from you and your time from me and before we could completely know him for all the time we have spent(or wasted) over him he leaves us. And now you want YOUR grandson to spend the rest of your life with. Even I went blind over our son, before marriage I couldn’t even tolerate you sharing love with your siblings but once our son came I never felt it and moreover I just loved him and not you. But what’s use in repenting now, after all the life is gone. Hope at least in my next life I get you as my partner and I will make sure that none exists who will share my love towards you and your love towards me.”

My eyes filled with tears and my sight became so blurred that I couldn’t see anything but felt something warm moving towards me and hug me. She is my wife who then wiped away my tears just to make me see her eyes filled with tears, with same innocent _expression that told me 30 years back “For all the love you show towards me I cannot stop myself love u more”

All of a sudden everything went blank, our breaths stopped, we stopped feeling the warmth of each other, felt our souls rising making their first wish “Oh GOD! Please make us both one again in next life and make sure we love each other and only each other through out our lives”

MOM & DAD I miss U

Through the clouds of the vast sky my line of sight traveled and met a house where I wasn’t born, I didn’t grow up and I never stayed but still which can be called my home just because, those who stay there, I owe them my birth, I owe them each day of my life and I owe them myself- My parents.

It wasn’t dawn yet but I could see someone wake up and enter the kitchen. She is my MOM, best at making coffee that I used to have it 6 times a day which had reduced to once or none a day after I left her. And now I can see her make what she is best at, coffee.

“Mom, Milk is boiled enough. It’s going to spill out “

No use she can’t hear me. She is thinking something and I bet I can read her mind right. She is thinking that if my son was here he would have loved to have this coffee more than anyone.

She realized just in time to turn off the stove. I told you she is best at it because, even milk wont spill out without her permission.

She started cleaning the dishes and again fell into deep thoughts. She is just wondering why she woke up so early when she has nothing to do unlike when I was there. Then she had to make my lunch box for school or college.

“Oh God! I miss that “Egg Curry” with half sliced egg pieces in the carriage tempting me right from the first period of my class till lunch”

Am I reading her wrong? It’s been some years since I left her and yet hasn’t she come out of that routine or doesn’t she want to or am I wrong in reading her?

Now the birds outside my house that are never seen but just heard told my mom that it is dawn and time for my dad to wake up. I envy my dad because he still sees my mom’s face first in the morning. He woke up got ready for his work, made some comments about the idli mom made. She never makes when I am at home. May be she is taking her revenge on dad for making me move away from her because even he doesn’t like idli. Obviously he is my dad, if I don’t like how would he like or is it the other way? Whatever!

Next thing mom does is turn on the TV and watch all the serials Telugu and Hindi until she finds some Chiranjeevi movie in some channel. Now I realize why I am so tired of Chiranjeevi movies, blame my mom who made me watch all his movies some n number of times and who never allows me to watch Pawan Kalyan movies and the name she gave him Chirutha(not cheetah, CHIRU-THAmmudu...much much before Cherry's debut). She never misses a single dialogue or scene on TV but by 2pm lunch is ready. She still makes lunch for me I guess because she only makes my favorite dishes. Of course I like all the dishes she makes.

After having some good food next thing she would love to do is have some good afternoon sleep-her favorite afternoon pastime. Its not been long that she fell asleep but she woke up all of a sudden sweating and fearing something. This dream that had me in it has been reappearing to her from quite some days and not allowing her to sleep.
“I am sorry Mom, I am not even allowing you to sleep just like when I was less than a year old when you stayed awake many nights taking good care of me hoping nothing would happen to me like my brother whom I never saw and never had. I am sorry mom. Some things are just inevitable but we have to accept it when they happen”


She fell asleep again and this time I made sure I won’t disturb her again. She woke up in the evening and I knew she wasn’t sure of what to do now. She did not have to sweep the corridor where I used to remove my shoes leaving lot of sand on floor, she need not have to pick my bags and put them in right place nor had she to compel me to get up from watching TV and take bath. But she woke up, she just wants to follow the routine or at least feel the routine, as she can’t have her son in her routine anymore.

Dad came home now. And then her evening just passed so fast making tea for dad, watching 7’0 clock serials, making dad watch them, with their one sided arguments which always mom won because dad is so intelligent and because he loves her so much.

After turning off the TV and the lights in the house Mom headed towards her bedroom passing mine and switching off the bed light in my room, which was allocated for me if I ever come back home, because I can’t sleep even with bed light on. She still feels I am in there. I know it from the way she said “GOOD NIGHT raa” so that dad can’t hear her and I can. I believe she can see me.

But I wished I can talk to her and tell her how I felt that day, when I went to my work just as any day and which was just like any other day until some guy came and shot me for the heck of it.

“Mom, I never knew that guy. He just came and tried to shoot someone else but it hit me. Before I could realize that it hurts, my blood started oozing out of my heart, which was losing its pace. I knew it was going to stop some time now. I was sure it was my last day and the only thing I felt was pain. It was pain, not from the shot but because more than anything and anyone I wanted to see you MOM then. I wished I died in your lap. My thoughts though fading were able to see you mom but not my eyes. My sight became darker and darker but you were not there mom. Mom one warm hug of yours would have made me alive again, my sight brighter and my thoughts stronger. Before the bullet killed me I was dead because of the thought of dying on a land where I did not belong and dying without seeing you mom.”

“Next thing I see is you mom in this very house listening to dad saying the news of my death to you. I expected you would almost break into tears but no. You became silent and speechless. I could still recall that bloodless and expressionless face of yours which was brought back to life, along with you, by dad’s constant efforts. And then I told myself that you were so lucky, unlike me who had none to bring me back to life when I was dying, to have dad beside you taking care of you. I love you dad for all the care you show and will be showing towards mom whom I had left. “

“Mom don't allow that dream of yours, where you see me dying and crying out for you ruin your sleep and don’t miss me too much and I know you won’t because you can still see me in that very house annoying you at times, angry at you at times, shouting at you at times and which I never told you is that all those times it was just my Love to you MOM. I can’t resist but say I miss you MOM. Now don’t cry but go to sleep, tomorrow you have to wake up early in the morning to watch INDRA at 8’o clock”

I WAS BHAGAT SINGH

What’s happening to me? I am not able to breathe, someone is strangling my neck with a rope, I can’t see anything. My face is covered with some cloth. I am dying and I am dead.

“Hey Con wakeup. What’s all that sweat on your face? Why were struggling as if somebody was strangling your neck?” asked my roommate.

“Nothing” I lied. It was 3 AM and my roommate was preparing for his exam next day when he got distracted by my wierd behavior, I suppose.

But what about the dream? What is all that about? I can still feel the pain. Thinking so I lied on my bed facing the brilliant view of Chicago Downtown skyline from my room. I am able to recollect my dream or at least parts of it.

I was reading a book written by Vladimir Lenin, a Communist revolutionary of Russia when someone called me. I was asked to get ready. Everyone around me was so down as if someone was dead. Later I was led into an empty ground, which looked more like a place where people are supposedly hanged. Meanwhile 2 other people who seem to know me, even them as high-spirited as proud as me, joined me. But I don’t know the reason why.

All three of us were then directed to get on to the wooden platform, which all 3 of us thought as a dais to make our voice reach crores of people. Then our faces were covered by a black cloth. Before I could realize that we were being hanged we were already hanged. I could still feel Rajguru and Sukhdev(how do I know their names!) struggle for breathe on my either side. Then a voice started in my brain,

“Con this is the pain many of us went through to make our Mother free from British government hoping that at least our Indians would take good care of her. But. . . . . my breathe I am not able to breathe. . . . . . .Indians right from the day we got freedom we are just fighting not with outsiders like then but with ourselves among brothers. In turn giving our leaders ample of scope to exploit us on our weakness to fight with our own brothers. And you Con and people like you . . . . . . . . . . . .my eyes are going blind, my breathe has almost stopped . . . . . . . . leave our Mother to suffer in the hands of some greedy ones and leave to get hold of your dollar dreams. Even I could have done a good job got married and have fun throughout my life making you all still suffer like dogs under British rule. But instead I am dying for you, that you who don’t give a damn about what is happening to the country. I am a failure, my death is a failure all our sacrifices are failures just because we took over the reign from foreigners and handed it over to inefficient Indians who grow up to be called as NRIs than Is(Indians).I could feel no movement of Rajguru or Sukhdev on my sides and I know even it is my time now to die a death which is of no use and which will definitely go into vain.But remember one thing Con, this is the pain we all went through for the future of which you are part of. Jai Hind”

I am still looking at beautiful skyline of Chicago downtown and then said to myself “aah! Com’on man it’s just a dream; more of a nightmare. Forget it. What a beautiful skyline!”

Love Accessible

Station by station is passing by but still my destination hasn't arrived. What should I be doing when I meet her after reaching home? I shall hug her and give her a kiss to show how much I love her.

"Oh my brother ee pichi prema puttindante anthenu raa sarvam marachi sanyaasi malle ninne maaramantundhi raa"

It's my mobile's ring tone assigned to my girl friend's number. I answered the call.

"Hi raa Where are you? Why are you late today? Do you at least remember that today is the day you proposed to me last year?"

"Hey what are you talking? How can I forget that? It's just that the train is late. I will be there soon and then we shall go to the dinner at water tower place"

"come soon raa. I miss you a lot and more today"

I cannot even believe that one year passed by already. It was almost like yesterday when I first met her in the classroom. She was so beautiful that day and I was so lonely that day. All of a sudden she came and sat beside me, as it was one of the few seats from where the lecture would be clearer. It was during the first break that she talked to me. She introduced herself and then it was my turn. I never knew we would become so close then. During second half she fell asleep which gave me a chance to offer my notes to her and in turn go to her room to get back that notes.

I knocked on the door from which the aroma of some brilliant dish or at least brilliantly smelling dish is coming. She came and opened the door. She has kept something on the stove and she is still writing the notes. So I offered her some help of course not in writing but cooking. Thanks to my culinary skills that I succeeded in making it edible besides being aromatic. After dinner we went to the on-campus 7-11 for a short walk which gave us enough scope to know each other, ideas and families.

From next day that night walk was a must just like 'n' number of pairs on our campus which were formed right after landing in US. We became good friends, thick friends and then decided to be together forever.

"Hello motto....".

This is my mobile's default ring tone for some numbers which aren't that significant to have exclusive ring tones. I saw the number that disturbed me in remembering my evergreen past. I saw that number somewhere but couldn't make out whose number it is. Then I remembered that this number is also from my past but past to evergreen past.

"Hello raa. Do you remember me? It was one month before we talked to each other that too when I called you and you had promised me that you will call me within one hour. But I am sorry I couldn't wait for that one hour which in this case is 30x24 hours long. What happened raa? I am happy to find you safe."

"I am safe. Don't worry. But shall I call you tomorrow. I am a bit busy today. "

"Ok raa. But remember that one girl here is waiting for you and living just for you. Bye. I love...."

I hung up on her before she could finish that. Not that I don't want to hear that but because I don't deserve that. She is my ex- and first girl friend who knows just loving me whether I call her or forget her and it is me who thinks that she is ex- and ex- because I couldn't wait for one month without her when she was in training far from home so that she couldn't call me nor could I reach her.

One month and I started searching for a new girl friend, found one and now forgot her totally. But she still believes that I love her even though I have been avoiding her from past one year. SHE is the one who has been calling me monthly once and only once just because she thinks I am busy at work and I would be disturbed and who every night before going to sleep tries to dial my number and with great difficulty resists her from disturbing me. Then it is Me who even after knowing all this is not ready to leave my current girl friend who is very much accessible than one sitting back there in India.

Finally my train arrived in Chicago station. I took a cab went to our room but did not kiss her nor hug her(did I get the realization?). Later on we went to dinner at water tower place where I kissed her that kiss I saved (but not shelved) for this moment.

Romeos must die

Blood was dribbling out of his mouth steadily. He was trembling with fear and pain. His total body was wet due to blood and sweat. But I am not yet ready to show him any mercy. I moved my right foot back in order to gain the momentum and then moved it forward ending up hitting the guy lying on the floor in his stomach. He was almost dead that he could not even make a sound of pain. Then I moved my point of focus onto his head where his stupid brain resided giving him weirdest ideas of all. I took my fist all the way to his face and punched him on his left eye. Then and there I got a sigh of relief, which was an outcome of his sigh of pain.

She was so beautiful, so good-natured and well mannered. Whoever gets her will be luckiest person. She just leaves the home in the morning for work, goes to the work just to work and comes back home in the evening where she spends the rest of her day fighting with her mom. Her father died when she was 9 years old. From then on it was her mother who took care of her along with her elder brother who is now living in some other place because of his job. She was so happy with her life until one day when her friend told her " That guy over there, I have seen him yesterday also and day before that"

"No way! You must be kidding"
"No, I still remember. Lets check tomorrow. "

Even the next day he was standing there. So she decided to take her bus from some other stop. That was a clever decision or at least she thought so until another day when she found him waiting for her over there.

"Madam, Can I talk with you for sometime?"

That's it. She started sweating but wasn't so weak to cry there. But she just hurried ignoring him and reached home safe.

But after that every day from which ever stopping she would take the bus, he was there waiting for her which she came to know only when her friend told her. Because she just avoided seeing him treating him as a disgusting being alive. But he never stopped being there, waiting for her.

Another bad day came when she was alone in the bus stop and this guy came straight to her and asked her "I want to marry you and I can do whatever to get you to be mine."

That day she did not go to her work but came back all scared to her mom and told her what had happened. Her mom told her that she has done right thing coming off from there and at least that would make him stop his stupid attempts.

But next day he again came this time he did not even care that she was with her friend. He said "I won't stop following you until you say yes". This time his tone was similar to Ravi Teja's tone in Idiot and ANOTA.

Again this day she went back home and told her mother. She immediately called her relatives who gave a great suggestion of getting her married soon , which is the only solution. And her mom was totally convinced at this that she overlooked that her daughter is not happy over this decision.

That night she sat down and started writing a letter.
"Hi raa. How are you? How is your health? Be safe and be good to others. I miss you raa and I am sure you are missing me but sorry to say that you will be missing me forever. I thought I would wait for one more year to marry you when you will be completely settled. But now here the situation is different. My parents want me to get married as soon as possible, which with you is impossible. The reason for this decision being a guy to whom I have never done any bad but he is following me and threatening me to marry him. What should I do? I cannot imagine another guy in my life and will not force you to marry me now. So please forgive my decision. I will miss you raa but sorry raa."


My eyes filled with tears with that letter in my hand now. By the time that letter reached me it was already late. I couldn't do anything for her, but I can do this thing for all the pain this guy lying down gave her. Thinking so I grabbed his head by his hair, which was already wet with his blood, and then hit his head onto the nearest solid metal rod for until his hair escaped from my fingers. I didn't even care whether he is alive or dead. His life is not at all worth a second of my life now after I had my revenge. Then I left that place and came back home.

I opened the door turned on the lights and was shocked to see what I am seeing. I ran towards her held her and made her sit upright on her wheel chair. Not a thank you, not a smile not at least a nod I expected from her and neither could she give it. She is alive but dead.

I knew she is a real strong person. And I was proven right when I came to know what happened. That night when she planned to kill herself, she was ready with a sharp knife to cut her veins, ready with circumstances forcing her to do that but just her brain opposing her actions. She lay awake all the night crying and exhausting all her tears in the dilemma whether to go with circumstances or to go with her brains. She ended up giving her brain more stress than it can take. That resulted in her mental trauma, which stopped functioning of her entire body except her heart.

Yes her heart is alive and still loves me. That day when I came rushing to her house to see her, I was happy that she was alive but sad to know what had happened to her. When I went near her and touched her hand, it was then for the only time she responded to anyone. She dropped, I suppose, her last tear she saved for me. Then I said to myself that such romeos must know the pain they give to the Innocent Juliets who are not meant for them.

Happy Birthday raa

The Sun was trying his best to pull open the doors of the world wherein I reside, her eyes. I went to the window and closed the curtains. The Air conditioner on high cool was trying to freeze tickle the snowy things that are out of the comforter, her feet. I turned off the air conditioner beside which the digital clock was showing the best date of the year, "08 MAY 6:31 AM ". I rubbed my hands and then touched her feet together, lied down next to her held her by her waist, over the comforter, took my lips near her ears and whispered "Happy Birthday raa".

Then and there my heart stopped by her THE MOST beautiful early morning smile followed by THE MOST invaluable words "Thank You raa". Invaluable because of the sleepiness still present in her voice. What else can I ask for! I wished her and here I am blessed with my gifts more than I can handle. Then she said "One more minute raa, then I will wake up and make coffee for you". I whispered, "OK" in her ears and kissed on her cheek for which she gave half the beamy smile on that cheek.

After 5 minutes, which was supposedly one minute of her sleep, She woke up saw me holding the cup of coffee and waiting for her. She got up to sit on the bed still half inside her comforter and then smiled again by stretching her hands saying "so sweet". As if I was just waiting for this I got up instantly with the cup in my hands and reached to hug her inside her stretched hands. Then I offered her a peck on her lips followed by the cup of coffee.

Before she could say something, I started "I did the dishes, made breakfast-your favorite Idli and I will be back from office before lunch time. I will take you to the lunch and after coming back home I will prepare your birthday dinner and arrange it in our terrace as a moonlit dinner. But until I come back from office, Your Highness, You are not expected to step down from this bed. Of course exceptions are you can get down to get ready but again by the time I come I should find you on this very bed". She smiled the innocent smile and then gave a pat on my cheek.

Suddenly I woke up in the train for its sudden halt after reaching its final destination, Chicago. I rushed to home wherein I still live with my other roommates leading a bachelor life. But today is special. So what if she is not with me, I can bring the joy linked with her here and share it with my friends. I decided I would cook my best dishes today. As soon as I reached my room, I started cooking the items on the menu that day which were, Chili Chicken, Vegetable pulav, Rice, Dal and Rasam (we have some vegetarians in our house). By the time of dinner my roommates were surprised to see so many dishes and even without their knowledge they wished the cause (Her Birthday) many more times.

When I told her all these that night when I called her, she was happy and then asked "why all these for me?" I replied, "I don't know. What have you done to me? Some 4 years back I don't even know you, but today you are so much to me that I love celebrating your birthday than my own. What have you done to me? You are killing me". I heard a low shaky voice saying, "I love you raa". That's it. I got my reply and that was the only apt reply. I opened my mouth to say "I love you too" instead I heard me uttering "I miss you raa" and yes that is what I meant at that time and so repeated it again letting her know that "One more birthday of her alone and I will be dead." Finally I concluded my call saying "Happy Birthday raa" some nth time in that very day.